Attention all those loyal to the Master:
Please direct you attention to your immediate right. We are trying to start a network to locate the JOURNAL OF RIVER SONG.
If you have any information of the location of a blue, TARDIS-shaped leather journal, PLEASE SUBMIT INFORMATION TO US ON THE RIGHT.
A recent sweep of the Storm Cage Holding Facility proved a failure, an embarrassment to the entire Valiant Security team. To disappoint the Master is the utmost shame, and were we not bound to right our wrong, we would surely cast ourselves from the Master’s extremely impressive floating warship.
WE MUST FIND THIS JOURNAL. Anyone giving information leading to progress in our search will be rewarded. You want to get out of those dingy factories and into the sky with the Master and his lovely wife Lucy, don’t you?
Find us this journal (or set us on its trail) and we’ll turn those fantasies of wearing one of these ravishing black helmets into a reality:
For Lord and Master!